Franklin Square – Agent of Change

Foreword

May 20, 2016

Working directly beside Franklin Square Park, in the heart of Olde City, Philadelphia, I often take advantage of the fresh air during lunch breaks to escape the pressures of daily deadlines. Along with my lunch, I bring my pad, computer, or book. I write or read myself out of my daily-deadlines mindset, utilizing the background sights and sounds of others enjoying the outdoors.

I am an observer. I like to watch as people interact, whether it is with their children, their coworkers, or people they meet around the fountain. I enjoyed watching and listening to the storytellers share the history of the city while the Once Upon a Time in America program still had enough funding to be an everyday event.

This backdrop, almost like a baseball game on the radio, acts as a perfect natural disruption to allow words to play their way into prose. Noise, movement, interesting goings-on give the eye and ear somewhere to go while the mind sorts. Some of my best-written character habits have come from watching people sitting in the park. Repetitive movements like hair flips, nose scratches, clothing adjustments all catch my eye while I open myself to the next line of my work in progress. Candid moments doing common tasks while conversing saved away for use another day. Most writers should relate to this statement.

This environment breeds creativity. As I enjoyed the park on a sunny May afternoon, I had an idea running through my head. I had partially captured interlinking analogies on the train ride into town. Parallel concepts from abnormal viewpoints.

The framework in place, my present task was pulling the correct words from the air to match the pace of the piece and create the proper imagery I sought to capture. The perfect word can be elusive; like catching a feather or dandelion seed as it blows and falls. The more you chase it the more it teases, just out of reach.

As I glanced around the park to entice the word to chase me, I noticed a man in period dress sitting on a bench around the fountain. He was tapping away on a keyboard, pausing to look around, and then tapping again. I watched as he changed position and faced my direction. Ben Franklin!

The juxtaposition of seeing a leading man from the pinnacle of Philadelphia’s history, one of the founding fathers of our nation and the Age of Reason, sitting on a park bench with a laptop, almost in visual line with the kite and lightning bolt statue at the entrance to the Ben Franklin Bridge, made me smile. It also gave me the opening for the needed word to reach me. I returned to writing, again on a flow, the new word bringing many friends.

Once the cork exits the bottleneck, the words demand their way onto paper. My flow, now plentiful and sparkling, much like the fountain in the center of the park splashed from my pen. My zone of consciousness as large as the sheet of notepaper before me. From this zone, I failed to notice the approach, only warned of the impending interruption by the shadow crossing my pad.

The man I had seen sitting on the bench by the fountain was now standing beside me. “Excuse me sir, would you mind if I join you?” I looked up into the face of one of my heroes of history. I knew he was not Ben Franklin, yet my mind acted as if the impersonator standing across from me wanting to join me was genuine.

As much as I wanted to curse and complain about him making me lose my line of thought, something about this moment seemed magical and out of the ordinary. Instead, I tried to stand, not an easy task while sitting at a park picnic table and invited this man in period dress to join me. He was about to take a seat and after glinting into the sun behind me, came around to my side and sat beside me, placing his laptop on the table in front.

“Can you spare a few minutes to converse? I apologize for interrupting your writing. I’ve seen you here previously; your habits are those of a writer. I have enjoyed watching thoughts flow through you as you capture them on your page. Have you been published?”

I sat slack-jawed, not certain why my reactions were slowed as if set in cooling wax or tar. The man’s laugh startled me into an answer. “No, not really. I have posted poems and short stories on websites, but nothing in print. I’m not new to writing, but it has always been for personal enjoyment. Only recently have I thought to share my “rantings and musings” as my friend Rob would say.”

I felt his mind probing me as I spoke. For the first time, I considered that this was not a normal interruption of my Friday lunch hour. Never had I interacted with a Ben Franklin impersonator, yet I had said hello to this man in normal dress while walking in Chestnut Hill. However, this meeting had an air of the unusual.

“Hi, I’m John.  I’ve seen you a couple times in Chestnut Hill.”

The statement surprised him. “Please call me Ben. The name doesn’t go with the costume; it’s truly mine.”

I am not sure if the distaste at the remark registered on my face, but he continued. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, John. I don’t mean to be untactful or impertinent, but I need to ask a favor.”

This made me lean back with surprise and annoyance before lifting my leg over the bench seat and turning to face the man now holding the focus of my resentment. Not only for the interruption, but also expecting me to grant a favor when he wouldn’t even share his name with me.

“To begin, no matter how much I try to tell you about my request, you will never believe me. Nevertheless, I need the help of a writer. I wrote a story that needs to be told but lack the time to complete the project.” As he spoke, he turned toward me, also straddling the wood seat. The honesty and intensity of his body language as he looked at me fought through my defenses.

“I thought this task of requesting your help would be easier. I underestimated the social barriers involved and recognize my imposition. Please forgive my manners.”

His sincerity moved me. It must have shown in my body language. I watched as he relaxed, prepared to continue.

“Okay. Let me get to the point. As you know from history, my character is a writer as am I. My story needs telling. It’s all here.” He tapped his laptop with both hands as he made this statement.

“I need a writer; I hope it is you, to get this manuscript file published. I am sure you will need to adjust and update my terminology in places, but the story, as unbelievable as I know it will seem, is true. All I ask is that you read it, edit it, and publish it. I don’t care if it’s published under an assumed name or as your own. Once I hand you the laptop, I relinquish ownership of everything it contains.”

I sat back, playing over what he said. It took a moment for the impact of his words to wallop me.

“Wait, a second! You want to give me a laptop with a story file on it and want me to get it published? Why don’t you do it? Why don’t you copy it onto a flash drive? I have too many questions. How will I get the laptop back to you?”

“I have no further use for the computer. It will not work where I am going. My days in this time are ending. Please honor this old man’s request. Please!”

“Are you dying? I don’t understand!”

“Please, John. We could talk for hours, and you would not comprehend. Believe me, I was once in a similar situation. Please take a leap of faith and honor an old man. Once you read my story, you will understand and hold answers to most of your questions. Secrets carry power and can rob a person of their ability to live. The events written here, although minute compared to the bigger picture, had a larger personal impact on my life than most histories recorded in books.”

“I hope you will recognize the need to drop my facade and allow everyone to know the lesser-known side of someone time has made into a historic icon.”

“Wait! Are you speaking of Ben Franklin or you?”

“John, I must leave. I have a train to catch and preparations to make before journeying to the other side. Please take on this project. My life will soon be over. I cannot allow these vital parts of me to die as well.”

“Maybe I can help. You look too healthy to be dying any time soon. Unless…? You aren’t planning on taking your own life, are you?” My face must have voiced my concerns.

“For God’s sake, no. Nothing so dramatic. Please! Just read my story. Take my word for it, by the end, you will understand!” As if I agreed, he rose. “Wait! You can’t leave! How am I to know what to do with this?”

“John, you as a writer know how mysterious life is. You never question where creative thoughts come from, do you? Some spark of thought catches us, spins us, and we open ourselves to the process of shaping words into art.”

I began telling him that I always question where creative thoughts come from, but he continued in all seriousness.

“John, I have given you the framework here. I grant you creative license to follow the process to completion. Time no longer matters. Feel free to cover any tracks I left uncovered with similar landscapes you know well. My stories need telling. So much of who I am needs sharing. Promises we make bind us to others for eternity and some secrets require a veil of shadows. I feel as if I now exist beyond the veil. You will know of which I speak once you read.”

He reached down and lifted the laptop, emphatically placing it in my hands. “A tremendous weight is leaving me knowing my story is safely in your hands!” I witnessed a rising reset of his shoulders as the weight this man carried transferred to me.

Two taps of his cane, an adjustment to his vest, and a brushing of particles only he could see settled the matter.

His project was now my project.

He honored me with a bow and without further hesitation, made his way up the brick pathway toward Seventh Street. All I could do was sit and watch, my mind still trying to wrap itself around the encounter that just occurred.

Order a copy of Franklin Square: Agent of Change https://a.co/d/1EFY5ab

Mental Incontinence

drips backround1

The stresses and pressures squeeze until I shout
by dribs and drabs, words force their way out
The “poor me’s” the “why me’s” the “life’s not fair’s!”
The aches and pains, the daily strains, the “no one really cares”
This mental incontinence, this leaking of thought
for this diarrhea of the mouth, a remedy is sought

A little on the sensitive side, the leaking doesn’t stop
A single conflict and I’m off, to find another pity pot
Caught up in the flow, the pressures grow
Won’t be long now, I think I’m gonna blow!
So, the thoughts will pour, emotions will war
the mouth begins to move, who knows what’s in store!

These bloody emotions are swelling and cramping
Don’t know which I need more, Zoloft or Pamprin
This inability to stanch my leaky dysfunction
overwhelms focus, destroys concentration
This cycle of leaking, this mental menstruation
causes those around me a sense of frustration

Whether it’s depends I need to stop this flow
or just a bit more stability to help me grow
This mental incontinence has got to stop
My pissing and moaning requires a mop
This stinking thinking is way too hard to control
Can’t stop my mouth leaking even when it’s the goal

 

The Library

PSX_20180217_001633

Row after row, section by section, a maze for hunting new adventures
Spines of every color and kind
bright, faded, repaired, or in desperate need,
all with varying textures of age and smells of time.

Some covered in cracked plastic
others sporting broken spines braced with
 yellowed tape
all become much more attractive in someone’s hands,
grasping, holding, flaming another’s interest
drawn into the past or led to the future,
either learning, reminiscing or escaping!

Comatose lives wait between the covers
resurrected by touch, fed by the spark of interest

Infusing a new mind with thoughts originating years,
decades, even centuries before
The author, granted the chance to live again

feeds off the pulse of the beholder, the touch on pages enliven,
characters become new again as a reader gets hooked,
flat pages gain dimension, characters dance through our imagination,
fusing the souls of reader and author
adding a new generation 
to the writer’s immortality

Old Hat

Carney hat

Gray, black, white, silver
the constantly changing consistency of pattern
herringbone wool with texture and style
giving warmth to the wearer
and comfort to all of us

Whether sitting atop the full round face
holding the thick dark pompadour in place
or capping the thinning skull of the aging man
colors matching the gray and black of mustache and sideburns
the Irish tweed Trinity captures the persona of the man

The comfort in the fit, the way it defines the curve of the head
framing the symmetry of the face and the set of the eyes
remained constant while the body of the wearer wore away each day
familiar feels of relief from the proverbial old hat
acclimatizing us all to what was not

As someone who’s been with us forever
reaches the point when they no longer are
the inanimate takes on life
gives us comfort and peace
even now, when the hat resides boxed in a drawer

All in the Prep Work

lawnchair2

We can take a can of paint, re-coat a rusted chair
making it beautiful, almost new again
but if the rust and old loose paint wasn’t cleared away
it’s just a matter of time until chips and rust resurface
a painful blemish on our new perfection

Just like anger!  If we don’t deal with the resentment
if we just move on, deal with the present, keep it clean
avoiding the real bone of contention underneath
the poison, the rot, the untreated decay patiently
waits for the next bump to bring it back to the surface

How do we balance moving on, not letting yesterday ruin today
with clearing away the root of the problem? Surely the hardest
part of the Serenity Prayer; dealing with past problems,
and changing, requires one foot in the past. It’s not the same
as setting troubles behind and then joining them there

Do we just accept the things we cannot change? Spray
on a new can of ‘just for today, it will be ok’? Do we
take up the fight and change the circumstances?
Deal with the unpleasantness of confrontation
risking clearing our resentment, but losing the other person

Where do we gain the wisdom to know the difference?
How do we set aside the emotions to not react?
As with most things, it’s all in the prep work. Take
the wire brush of reason, bounce thoughts off others
and then, choose the next right thing

Best Seller

book peace

Our life unfolds before us
memories gathered, moments combined
taking our eyes off the present to view our past
Stories, dramas, decisions…
choices paving the way to who we have become

Growing and learning
experiences accrued along the way
loves, loses, tributes or tumbles
those we embrace or those we avoid
even those we have excommunicated
all hold a place, leave a mark, on who we are

Separated and viewed singularly
like pages in a book
all these small pieces of us…
pieces flowing into one another
our decisions and actions of today
shape the choices of tomorrow

As we look back through the chapters
viewing the story of our life
fold down the pages of successes and joys
save the “what if’s” for the positive impacts
look at the impressions we had on others
What if we were not there to change those lives?

These are the things that matter!
these are the paths we want to keep marked
these are the images to keep alive
the parts of us we want to always share
the true making of a best seller!

Shadow of Holidays Past

Christmas Advent Celebration Candle Heart December

For just a few moments during the holiday season,
with all the festivities and celebrations,
I can’t help but reflect…
Some life changing moments, although they pass by
so swiftly, impact us deeply throughout our life.

Even after decades, a lifetime ago, I can’t help
but wonder… how would things be different?
How many lives changed, but for the turn of a wheel?
One stupid moment in the name of fun. A young life
flung to the side, the impact crushing so many dreams.

Avoidance, anger, or alcoholic amnesia!
We each dealt in our own ways. Time healed,
scabs form and fall away. Others can’t help
but pick at the past, ripping sores open again
and again, causing a lifetime of pain and scars!

Life goes on whether we like it or not.
Move on with it… or a part of us dies, locked
away in the shadow of yesterdays. Emotions stuffed
deep, never seeing the light of day, constantly
feeling on the emotional level of when walled away.

Sitting and pondering another second or two
A single flower and prayer placed in remembrance.
Stopping time just to reminisce…
A giant smile, a gleam in the eye,
the bounce full of youthful excitement.

All the laughs and lies and loves at sixteen
briefly brought back to life this time of year.
The sadness of loss, a splintering of friends,
a long ago life casts a temporary shadow…
shaped by the bright lights of the holiday season.

Holiday Shadows

mitten tree

The emotions grow as the day gets near
For some it’s expectation, for others it’s fear
Christmas carols, decorations and lights
In some houses it’s abuse and fights

Boys and girls with big, bright eyes
But plenty more sedated or serenaded with cries
It’s not all joyous, this time of year
Depression and pain, but don’t dare shed a tear

Christmas carols or crying for a meal
Holiday specials or a frightening ordeal
Season’s Greetings or the yelling begins
Decorations and lights or alone with their sins

No presents this year and nothing to give
What kind of way for any child to live!
Dark empty corner where the tree should be
The only loving contact was a fake Santa’s knee

For every soul who loves the Season of Lights
Many hide in the shadows, only themselves held tight
Holiday joy or a Season of Sorrow
While some gather and rejoice, some won’t see tomorrow

A season for family or families living in woe
Gratitude and joy or awaiting the final blow
Wreaths and garland or empty and alone
The Joys of Christmas or another reason to groan

Phantom Pains

phantom heart

There has always been an emptiness
A place where a piece of me seems missing
a longing for understanding
or at least a connection
A chance to know someone missing from my life

Being part of a splintered family
raised by two loving parents
but never getting to know one of those
responsible for your birth
creates a cavern of un-felt feelings

This cave, a place of unconnected love
creates echoes, as emotions bounce
off the hardened parts of my heart
filling the emptiness with phantom feelings
knowing reality and perception are unaligned

And now, as this part of me, my blood
fights, then fails to draw life-giving breath
those sympathy pains of unfulfilled love
become aligned through actual loss
phantom feelings for the mother I barely knew

Static Interactions

static electric2

Every day I stand at the copy machine, knowing-
as I touch the button, carpet static will bite me. Not
that it hurts, maybe borders on uncomfortable, more
the pain of anticipation, knowing it’s coming, knowing
a spark will be triggered by touching the login pad

There’s always that person who has the effect of collecting static.
Their energy gets passed to us whether we want it or not. No
matter what the interaction, we know we’re going to get shocked.
They start walking your way and you have the same
anticipation, knowing unpleasantness is coming

When someone rubs you the wrong way, neck hair
stands on edge due to their nearness. The thought
of contact makes every character defect pulse, every
past annoyance makes its way from history to present
giving unpleasant thoughts way too much power

The work environment is the perfect fishbowl where people
who share goals, ethics, and etiquette come in contact daily
There are many ways to ignore the annoying things they do
Others annoy us by showing up for work
making the hair stand up in the wake of their passing

The common denominator is based on past feelings
instead of what we have in common. Expectations
of aggravation prepare us negatively, develops
an island of attitude, only seeing things that will piss us off.
What can be built on this kind of framework?

The day in, day out interaction with these folks, set us up
for nit-picking and focusing on all their faults. A case
built against them before they do anything.
A perfect example of how a reputation precedes you
always entering the room way before you do